Praciticing Compasion

Practicing Compassion: Taking Time to Appreciate Who Is Here

Trees give of themselves constantly. They are always giving shade, giving leaves for compost, giving their woody scent, and even their majesty.

It doesn't take much to be compassionate. Sometimes it is a matter of just taking time to be yourself, offering just who you are to another human being.

Mother Theresa is famous for saying that the worst poverty she ever saw-- in the course of a lifetime of work with the destitute poor -- was the poverty of loneliness experienced in the West.

We are so busy here.

But we could pause more. Pause and be, with a neighbor, with a spouse. With a clerk at the store. With a child. With a parent. With a co-worker. We could pause and be with just one more person a day, to slow things down a just a little bit more. Not the one-second, "Who are you; I'm fine, how are you." But going to the next sentence, where you begin to experience a connection.

When you stop, and take a moment, you may think you are reaching out for the sake of the other person. But you also reach out for your own sake. In reaching out, your heart has a moment to breathe and to be as big as your heart wants to be and needs to be.

You get to experience, even if for a moment, what it is like to be a tree.

365 Verses: #1-3

If you want your life to be like a verse in a sacred text, do not write your life

from your mind.

Sit in your garden. The squirrels may scold you. The loud machinery
of your mind may annoy or even scare you.

But sit in your garden. Let the birds sing you the course that you should go. Let the crickets tap out what steps you shall take.

If you live near a river or a stream, let the riverstones give you their timeless input. They have been around much longer
than we have.

Wisdom enters the body like sunlight through the skin. Bathe yourself in sunlight, and listen to the intelligence of the woodpecker, who is your brother. You will find your way.

***

If you sit in your yard long enough, you begin to notice
how nothing stays the same. The barn has chipping paint. The leaves that were green are the color of rust and moss all at once. Some of the pine needles have browned.

The house, looking so sturdy, has leaves in its gutters. The foundation is even looking shaky with its centuries-old beams. The roof needs some attention.

Change is constant here. I know we change, like this, all the time, but it goes without noticing. We are a suburban yard, subject to the weathering moment.

Yet somehow, a sturdiness endures, though it is elusive what this sturdiness is made of. Maybe it's what we call history. Or is it a sense of hope?

Maybe it's something holier, like wind mixing with the breath of billions of human beings and making the bamboo chimes clink above the hydrangea bush. What we call God, or the Infinite One.

I don't think it matters much, what it is, as long as we feel its weightlessness, this sense of continuation of what is most important.

***

The body is the root of the soul;

Nourish yourself like a tender plant, put in a pot and placed on the altar to honor the great I Am.

Go outside and put your face to the sun; drink clean water, and as you drink, bow in gratitude to the spring or the river that is sharing its bounty with you.

How you tend the soil of your life becomes the foundation of your experience.

When you care for yourself, life becomes simpler and you can meet your experience with greater ease.

Tend the root of your soul well, with great care, and with great tenderness.

Celebrate what grows!

NOTE: The above is excerpted from 365 Verses, #1-3.
Copywrite 2008 Cynthia Yoder; reprinting or reissuing, in any form, is prohibited without permission from the author.

Grieving Your Beloved

This post, and many before it, are questions and answers from free Intuitive Coaching sessions I offered through this blog. Though I no longer offer free sessions, I do have 30-minute introductory sessions. Please visit, www.cynthiayoder.com


R. writes:
Read this ["A Man and His Stones"] and wanted to ask for ... maybe a stone. My beloved X has killed himself and I'm scared I'm going to just "lay down" and quit all the things that have manifested. I need a place to put this death. This loss.

Dear R.

I’m sorry to hear about your beloved. The horror of what you have experienced must be honored. Do not worry right now about what you have manifested. You will have time to address this later. Honor the very deep grief that you feel. It is the only way “out” to seeing the light of day.

How to do this. Spend time with his family, if you can. Tell stories, laugh and cry with them. Don’t isolate yourself. Find a shoulder to cry on, even if it feels like you are imposing. If ever it was time to impose on your friends, this is the time!

Paint. Find some acrylics and paper and paint out your feelings. This may feel awkward, but this can bring the light of day to your situation sooner. Paint how much you miss him. Paint the glorious times you had together. This will be a picture journal that you will have and can remember him by. Don’t worry about technique. This is your journal. If you tear up an entire tablet out of rage, then that is what you do.

Grief is energy residing in your bones. When you let the energy move through, it is a kind of cleansing. Then you will have energy again for the things in your life that you love.

Please feel free to write again. You are also welcome to call me for an introductory session if you feel led to.

In light and love,
Cynthia

A Man and His Stones

Once there was a man with three stones. One was the stone of rage. The other was the stone of pity. The other was the stone of delight. The man carried these stones in his pockets and every so often would draw one out to look at it.
When he would draw out the stone of rage, he saw that the stone would turn red and glow a kind of menacing light, and he would quickly return it to his pocket. When he drew out the stone of pity, he would hold it for a very long time, remembering his boyhood and those moments when he felt so free and unencumbered by the worries he knew today. After a while, he would slip the rock reluctantly back into his pocket, reassured that he would be able to find this stone again.

Rarely, but on occasion, he pulled from his pocket the stone of delight. When he held this stone in the palm of his hand, he could barely stand the lightness of how it felt, could barely understand how this very lightness had found him, and could barely hold it very long before he tucked it quickly away, believing that if he held it too long, someone might come and snatch it away.

Well, our man lived quite a long life, and toward the end of it, he knew that when he was buried, these stones would be lost among the clutter of his things, and so he decided to take matters into his own hands.

The stone of rage he buried near the headstone of his father, a father whose unexamined rage followed him to the grave. As the man patted down the dirt, a yellow flower mysteriously and instantly grew in that place, and the man gasped, unsure of its meaning.

The stone of pity he buried near the headstone of his mother, for he knew instinctively that her full level of compassion was untapped in her lifetime, and that pity was only a sense of love for something missing. As he buried the stone of pity, a red apple appeared on the headstone, and when he took a bite of it, he saw the forms of his mother and father in their wholeness, and he thanked them half-heartedly for doing the best they could, with what tools they had been given. As soon as he thanked them, half-hearted as it was, his heart stirred, and he stood there in the grass, finally understanding what it was that he must do next.

He took the stone of delight and buried it between them, knowing that it was the stone that represented his life. As he fiddled with the dirt, he had the realization that only in knowing rage (his father) and pity (his mother) could he recognize the vibration of delight (himself). And so it seemed that his whole life was intended for this sorting out, this carving away, this path to understanding.

As he finished covering the stone of delight, an image of his babyhood appeared in which he was held in the arms of those who loved him. And in those arms he saw all of the arms of all of the mothers and fathers, parents by blood and parents by choosing, and saw their perfection in loving only partially. For this human, flawed love left a longing so perfect that it propelled him and all of humanity forward to understand their true nature.

And so the man left the stones, pockets empty, and heart strangely peaceful.

A Spark In Her Eyes

This story came for a client who was trying to work through her fear. While I don't include her name, I post it with her permission, as these stories are both universal and deeply personal.

Once there was a girl with a spark in her eyes and a leap in her steps. It was this girl who knew things deep in her heart that not everyone knew. They were spectacular things, and they were little things. But they were things that no one around her spoke about. This made her quiet inside.

Because the noise around her was so great compared to this quiet, she brought the quiet with her when she went out into the world. In especially loud groups or gatherings, she sat with a serene inside, watching the noise, wondering what it was all about. It scared her at times because she sometimes observed a kind of dishonesty in the way people related, and she wondered how this could be true, given what she knew inside. At those times, she began to question the truth of what she knew.

There were a few people around her who sensed her vulnerability and intentionally began to hurt her, and this further eroded her trust in what she knew. It was a terrible time for her, as her connection to the truth inside her seemed to grow distant, like yesterday's dream.

It was years and years and years later that she began to reflect back on her life, including her childhood, and realized that she had lost her way. In fact she wondered if somewhere she had lost the very key to her life and to her happiness.

So she set about to retrieve it. She read all kinds of books that told her things about how to find happiness. And again, the words rang in her ears like the noise of the world that she had grown accustomed to, but never liked. She spoke with others who seemed happy and had things to say to her about finding happiness, but still, it was just more noise. It all just felt like a big loud circus.

Then one day, in the middle of her life, she met an elderly man who was ready to cross over to the other side. As someone charged with his care, and also sensitive to his soul, she knew exactly where he was going, and how it would be for him. She did what she could to love him while he was still here, and tenderly provide for him what he needed. Her loving care and attention made it less frightening for him, and he felt less alone. It was a great service.

In that connection with the elderly man, something grew in the heart of the woman. It was the spark of the ancient knowing that had been with her all along, but she had forgotten how to trust it, and so had forgotten how to hear it. When she began to trust this deep knowing, she began to listen to what it said about her life and how she could move through her life with more ease and delight. And --because the Universe is designed for this very turn of events in the human heart--as her listening increased, her knowing became even stronger and more clear.

And so it went, the dance between listening and knowing and doing, until the spark that she had known at such a young age began to glow again.

Once her glow had returned, of course it was not long before the leap in her step returned, and this leap was the dance of all of creation dancing in celebration of this woman, her life, and her connection to her true Self.

Life Purpose: Choosing One Path Among Many

Hi Cynthia.
My question is about life purpose. Mine, in particular. I was given many talents & aptitudes. How do I know what path to pursue -- since selecting one means excluding others.
Thanks.
Chris D.

Dear Chris D.,
The dance of the wind begins with a child taking his first step. The dance of the sun begins with the child learning how to run. The dance of the sea begins when the child learns to jump. There is not only one dance or only one way in which to use your feet.

When the child walks, he still understands running. When the child runs, he still understands jumping. Do one thing at a time, and you will see how many ways your soul dances in that one pursuit.

There are practical ways in which to combine interests. Listen to your heart and what it desires the most. What will feed your soul the most? The answer to this question is a key to your destiny and what will bring you the most fulfillment.

Your interests will be fed -- and your varying gifts used -- by choosing the thing that you most desire. We are multi-faceted, a tree of seemingly separate branches, yet all branches lead back to the trunk. Your desire is like that trunk, branching outward into activity. Align your actions with what you desire, deep in your heart, and the tree of your life will flourish.

Whatever you do will rely on your creativity, your passion, and your humor.

If you wish to explore this further, please give me a call!

Many Blessings,
Cynthia

Signs, Soul Mates, and a New Business

Dear Cynthia,
I am hoping you can assist me in two areas of my life, career and relationships. I lost my job a few months ago and have been "searching" to find the right path to pursue. Some recent "signs" imply that I should focus my energy on a business I started a couple of years ago. Any suggestions? For quite some time I have felt I was ready to meet my "soul mate" however, I am still waiting. As much as I know in my heart it will happen, I do get curious from time to time as to "when", any insight? Thank you.
Sincerely,
C


Dear C,
You are a ray of light in the universe. A soul mate is a union of light with light. Pray every night for four days. Ask to be shown the light that is promised to you. Close your eyes and connect in your heart to the one who is yours already but has not yet come to you. Have an open mind and heart. Nurture that openness in whatever ways that appeal to you. Do you like to play music? Or cook? Walk in the woods? Light attracts light. Be the light that you want to attract as your mate.

The more you focus on what is important to you, and nurture your own heart, the clearer the signal you send out to the universe. Be patient. I cannot give time frames, but in a world of energy, your mate is only a breath away. Be in the world as if that were true. Love everyone as your soul mate. Love will come knocking at your door!

Follow your hunch about your business. Signs are there to perk up your inner guidance system and clarify what you want and what your soul is requiring. If the signs are consistent, and they align with what you feel in your heart to be true, then go for it! Your business will prosper in time. Be patient. Tend it lovingly as a child.

Also, honor what is not working. When things are “not working” the way we want, something deeper is being worked out within us. The muscle of your inner life is strengthened when things are “not working.”

All love to you for your path,
Cynthia