Love is found in the noticing of things. Noticing the lines and colors of a spring flower, you can see the intricacies of one little life expression. You can see how a beautiful life has emerged through soil and dirt and in the company of worms -- the stuff of a flower before its blooming.
Notice a human being like this, and you will find love. In relationships, we get to know the shadow side --the soil through which every human beings grows -- and we get to know the blooming.
If you focus on the soil, you miss the blossom. Imagine going to a flower show, and only paying attention to the dirt.
Notice the lines on a friend's face. Notice the contours of a lover's shoulder. In the noticing, you see the complex and intricate ways that a human being gets expressed. Notice how a friend eats their salad. Notice how a family member chooses what to do with their hair.
We have all come up through the same soil. Notice everything with compassion.
Love is self-reflective. Forgive yourself of your own faults (the ground through which you grow) so that you can forgive another person of theirs. (Yes that is in the Lord's Prayer, but reversed).
Love is not narcissistic. The narcissist only sees himself and his own needs. Practice seeing yourself reflected all around you, in those you love. Know at the same time that you are also a reflection of those around you.
The truth of the matter is that inside these finite skins, we contain a vast, complex and colorful flower that is the flower of life itself.
If you focus on that, you will find how much you are capable of loving.
Monday, June 15, 2009
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